December 8, 2019
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Creating a Bedtime Ritual for Children


Hi it’s Heather Bestel again from HBTV and
today I want to answer an email I’ve got from a lady who’s asking me “Please help me help
my child to let go of worries before they go to sleep at night” and this is a very common
thing that I’ve come across over the last twenty years working with children and parents.
Often children carry stuff around with them and it’s a lovely time just before they go
to sleep to just offload those worries, it’s a lovely time when you can give them some
space if they want to talk to you and I have a strategy. It’s a psychotherpeutic intervention
that I’ve been using with my daughter Zoë, she’s sixteen now but I’ve been using it with
her since she was about two and a half – three and it’s lovely it’s called The Four Questions
and I’m going to teach it to you today and you can let me know how you get on with it.
So, once you’ve settled your child down to sleep at night, so they’ve maybe had a warm
bath and they might have had a story or whatever and you’ve spent some time with them and you’re
tucking them in and you ask them to look back over the day, so they’ve got to go back through
their mind over the day and you ask them to find the very best bit of the day to share
with you. So, that’s the first question you ask them: “What was the best bit of today?”
and they look around and find it inside of themselves. This is making them find something
positive so even if it was a bad day they look back and find the very best thing, this
is helping their mind to always focus on positive things. So, the second question is: “Can you
blow away the bad bits?” and kids are so good at this, they just take the bad bits out of
their head and you can teach them to do this, put it on their hands, take a big deep breath
and it’s gone. I teach this to adults as well and they find that bit quite challenging but
kids are great, they just take it out, don’t want it any more, put it in their hands and
it’s gone, done. Question 3 is: “What are you going to dream about?” this is like magic.
You can tell your child that they’re in control of what they dream about and they can choose
something wonderful to focus on before they float off to sleep because what we focus on
just before we go to sleep is what our subconscious minds focus on while we are asleep. So, get
them into the habit and Zoë used to say things like: “I’m going to be a mermaid and swim
under the water with the dolphins , so that might be an idea for them or ask them to think
about something else they’d like to dream about and again giving them some positive
reinforcement as we’re helping them to feel good about themselves, building their self
esteem, building their self confidence and the last question is, the forth question:
“What are you looking forward to tomorrow? So again we are encouraging them to always
look for the positive, find the positive so their expectations are positive as well. So,
even if they’ve got a difficult day ahead of them tomorrow, they might say things like:”I’m
looking forward to it all being over and done with” or “I’m looking forward to coming home”
so even when they’ve got a bad day in front of them invite them to find something positive
from it. So there are the four questions: What was the best bit? What are you going
to blow away? What are you going to dream about? What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
You could try them yourself, I offered these at a GP conference once and they loved them
and took them away to use with their patients. So that was a really good thing. So, come
on over to HeatherBestel.com and share in the comments what you thought, if you use
something to help build you child’s self esteem and confidence and help let go of worries
before they go to bed at night and let me know how your getting on with this tip. Okay,
that’s me. I’ll see you soon, bye bye. If you liked this episode then please subscribe
to my channel and share the magic with your friends and if you want more resources to
create a life you really want and deserve then come on over to HeatherBestel.com and
sign up for more weekly videos and a wonderful gift from me. Thanks for watching and I’ll
see you next time on HBTV

Otis Rodgers

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