Are you unable to think for yourself? Would you believe anything as long as lots of other people believe it too? You enjoy reading the same stuff over, and over, and over, for the rest of your life? Then you need RELIGION! Take your pick, they’re all pretty much the same.
And in no time you’ll get to enjoy all sorts of fun activities like sitting on your knees and talking to your ceiling,
singing songs dressing up in funny clothes, or starting
a bloody centuries-long war with another religion. You’ll make lots of new friends, lose all sense of self-determination and join
a thron of literally billions of people just like you But wait, there’s more! Buy into religion today and we’ll
include a limited one-time-offer of our book, “Believing in Stuff and Zany Rituals that Make
No Sense and Are a Complete Waste of Time” ABSOLUTELY FREE! And the great thing about religion is, once you get it
you can feel the need to tell everyone you know who doesn’t have it how miserable and useless they are,
and how much less miserable and useless they can be if only they were as smart as you and believed in stuff.
So don’t delay, get religion for your brain today! Side-effects include suicide bombings, unnecessary wars,
senseless punishment, really annoyingly brainwashed children, being offended when people make fun of religion and the occasional sudden
realization that everything you’ve been led to believe is a giant mass of lies perpetrated only to keep people like you
fearful of imaginary gods and under control.